[Scaryfatmaniffer]

I just thought that as I need to tidy up the website it might be nice to put together a colllection of the choicest quotes from Mr Briggs over the years in one neat article.
Perhaps annotated with appropriate comments.

Views on this please.

[Scaryfatmaniffer]

Chris, do you mind if I hire a horse costume, and get a saddle and headpiece for it, as I wanted to do some plot with the horse? Might be a tight squeeze in the Wolf, but an outdoor adventure woukld be a scream if it comes running out of the bushes?

I am not even gonna bother replying about the horse (darklord)

and then from the High Lord Briggs Baiter himself:

Nick, i think the best thing for you to do would be tone things down a little. If you sit back for a night or something and watch people, how they roleplay, the things they do and props they use. Would be a lot easier than coming up with random ideas about a horse running out of a bush because it supposedly talks.
Although the world of Illyria is fantasy, it is still based on some real concepts and to a certain extent (unless Chris has been drinking with writing plot) makes sense.

Nobody (to my recollection) has ever gone as using a horse costume. Its good that you are willing to put the effort in to doing things properly, but you are going to far and coming at it from the wrong direction. You need to remember that the system we are using right now is Low Fantasy. There are no practicioners of High Magery who shape the world with their own spells - Its a pub, in a village, near the border. The chance of a kraken-looking horse thats 80 hands high is not likely to come about, is it?

Just take it steady and think things through with some sense of logic before you go hurtling off in random-brander mode.

[Elmyra]

I think that there is a fair number on the site but here are some of my personal faves!

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I couldnt care less about parents, in over  a decade of entertaining kids I know the kids dont give a sod about "and heres a serf shovelling manure" or "look at this poor bitch cooking soup over an open fire" its the death and gore they lap up. Some kids are sensitive, I know, and you cant go full hog, its down to common sense and your age range.
Obviously you have to be careful how you present it, but story telling works.
Besides a scrap with the RPers would be totally detached, in that we could monster and leave it to Chris what happens, my exhibit or whatever is with my own team.
I was considering a Dark age wrestling match, with Dwarves, Orcs etc it would be really funny?
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Darklord can you have some inteligent feedback here? And one of our members was a retired wrestler, and 3 of our guys are kickboxers, about 6 (now Claires been kicked out) of us are role players and me a reenactor so wrestling seems logical and safer than using weapons...
.. oh and I prefer girl wrestlers...
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she flounced off in a typical female strop over things that had nothing to do with the project, and it was decided reluctantly to remove her from duties
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Bill drill will probably go down Ok and the kids can take part, simply the handling. (reminds me of handling an AK47 - when I was 7 it seemed so light, and setting an Israeli missile launcher tracking after a biplane at Cottesmore - I loved it)
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My favourite is the 12 inch action figures Qui Gon Gin being the best
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A faun would be easier to dress
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I was gonna opt for little horns, so I can get indoors
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For the opening of the new village, how about an annual wrestling event, dark age style, costume would be dead easy, just shirts and trousers (or topless) stick £5.00 in a hat the winner gets the lot.
Obviously it would have to be 12 stone and under in one group and heavys in the other.
No punching, kicking or headbutting, simply both shoulders to the ground means a win. Virtually like we do with the knives.
The heavyweights would be fun to watch...
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Would a cane with plenty of wadding on it be allowed as a javelin? With my little arms it would have less force than an arrow?
I was thinking of a burning arrow type contraption...
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Would a cane with plenty of wadding on it be allowed as a javelin? With my little arms it would have less force than an arrow?
I was thinking of a burning arrow type contraption...

[Scaryfatmaniffer]

Back yard wrestling rears its ugly head

If Gary organises somthing with heavy weapons, I'm up for it as long as I can wear armour, allthough theres no way I would involve any of my crew - my huge freind does death matches. Sombody almost certainly would get injured, perhaps killed!

Would my 3 headed morning star be banned at such an event?

Darklord replies :

I think you are misinterpreting what chris said - I don't currently  organise stuff with 'heavy weapons' The point I was making (and chris was paraphrasing me) was to someone who was fighting extremely unsafely in an lrp - basically I was trying to point out that there are plenty of people willing to just have a fight with or without weapons there is no reason to fight unsafely in a lrp which is about characterisation not who is in real life a hardman.  As for your comment that your friend does 'death matches' frankly what the fuck are you talking about? Has anyone been killed? I seriously doubt it,you cannot agree legally to that in this country  Maybe in Brazil as long as you are a blood donor (I kid you not)

Briggs (now realising he is hopelessly out of his depth), refuses to quit while he is a bit behind:


Death matches are discrete illegal wrestling matches, using wood, chairs etc, done in the same way as bare knuckle fighting.

There was a documentry about them on C4 not so long ago, and its amazing how laid back the fighters are, no egos at all. The idea is they fully understand the risks they take, and little wonder you get dsome gory injuries. Many of them use the money to get into sports colleges.

Aplogies if I have got you confused

Darklord

Okydokey then. Just another question - is that the same as the extreme/backyard wrestling thing un the USA?  Cos yes those guys are crazy and they get real injuries but the violence is still obviosly controlled or people die.

[The Darklord]

I think that there is a fair number on the site but here are some of my personal faves!

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Darklord can you have some inteligent feedback here? And one of our members was a retired wrestler, and 3 of our guys are kickboxers, about 6 (now Claires been kicked out) of us are role players and me a reenactor so wrestling seems logical and safer than using weapons...
.. oh and I prefer girl wrestlers...
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Now to be fair there have probably been many times in my life when asking for inteligent feedback would be appropriate, what do you lot think?  Was this one of them?

[Scaryfatmaniffer]

Give a man enough rope and all that...

As so often the Briggs starts reasonably sensibly

Would a cane with plenty of wadding on it be allowed as a javelin? With my little arms it would have less force than an arrow?

I was thinking of a burning arrow type contraption...

Much discussion follows (well within the bounds of reason), on the use of javelins, but gradually sneaks into the realms of siege engines.

Scaryfatmaniffer adds:

Back to fire weapons and oil etc. when would you use one - what you have to remember with your thought patterns are that adventures are fluid ongoing things not set pieces like in film making. That's why roping off locations is a bad idea.

Briggs retalitates:

I was thinking of an ambush with a couple of catapults could be fun. (followed by)
As for roping off, surely official events are fenced off etc?

By now we are truly in the dark realm of roping things off

Fatman:

I am not sure what you mean by official events.

We have never run a stationary event that was not totally on private land. You run the risk of having too many spectators and in my opinion (and the majority of our members) it is not a spectator sport).
Quests are much more fluid and movement orientated and thus impossible to rope off as you can never be quite sure where the characters wil want to go.

Outdoor events are pretty much all like the quests you have been on some better written and more expertly equipped but still very similar.

The darklord emerges in full flow

I really dont get this roping off obsession you have - is somebody wishing he was a cow boy hmm?  Chris has said it pretty politely up to now, roping off is just not practical on public land and anyway it'll more likely attract attention from people than discourage them.  If you run an event somewhere like a scout camp then the area is likly to be fenced off but events at places like that tend to be static "moot" type events rather than adventures.

Ifyou want to play with ropes I am sure some like minded consenting adults somewhere will let you join their type of roleplaying which is probably very different from ours but the basic message is we will not be trying to rope off large areas of the foreshore or anywhere else to run events in.

[The Darklord]

I am almost starting to miss those insane discussions - what happened to the Briggs is he tangled up in a rope shackled to a burning siege engine?

[Scaryfatmaniffer]

This is Ace

In a discussion about more regular public events, and how other groups use more public locations fire stations etc. he then starts to show his true (slightly odd and psychedelic colours)- also feel free to ignore his rope fetish

As for the ruined tower, simply rope the area off and hour before, and stick signs up - Private event etc, or my favouite, a few men at work signs. At 3 in the morning its deserted round there which is when I do stuff.

and from a man who wants to be respected in the hobby and to have connections with people in authority

It helps I know about the CCTV and where it all is.

Matt Dovey - tries to sum up the scenario when he says:

LRP is becoming much like many other things in the world these days. Yes, it would be wonderful to be able to do what we want where we want when we want, but the reality is that it's just not possible anymore, and you have to restrict the activity to a time and a place that is appropriate and hassle free.
Dedication is all well and good, and it would be great if we could just fence off the ruins and play at 3 in the morning - but the real world interrupts, and 3am is not a reasonable time. As nice as all these schemes sound when you think of them, you always have to keep yourself grounded in reality and logistics.

But the point is missed and the fetish is back

3am is a bit crazy for RP, its just when I tend to hang about with my crazy freinds.

As long as the foreshore manager is ok about it, roping off would not be a problem?

Silent for so long - Phil Cooper finally realises that for once a sledgehammer is necessary to crack a nut (at least a briggs nut)

For the love of god, NO ROPING OFF.

When will you actually read some of the stuff that people write on the site. These people have been doing this stuff for years and you just ignore them because you have some strange sort of fetish for using rope. Go join a swingers and BDSM club if you are that focused on using rope!

After having seen too many politicians deflect a question without trying to answer it - Briggs attempts the same - BADLY.

And you seem to have overlooked my point that I run an extremely low budget arts group who do similar things in the same places and have absolutely no problems.

This might have worked but for the fact that Cooper had tasted blood.

With reference to your low budget arts group, its nothing to do with Carpe Fatum or Illyria.

Its not best to think and scale down, its best to think, fullstop. 

[Scaryfatmaniffer]

Often a man can be improperly judged by the way he initiates conversation...

I make loads of suggestions problem is they all seem to be insane.

Why do this before such a sensible quote (excepting of course the Tourette's comment that invariably sneaks into the brackets)

What I would like is a weapons event where we can sharpen up our hand to hand combat and archery at moving targets - kind of like a gladiator school. Using LRP weapons would be a lot safer than steel (which in reenactment I have to use eventually).

Still sensible a while later

Darklord, as allways I am keen to do somthing. You do the rules etc, I can come up with the story, scenario, characters etc?

But then he feels the need to swing a wild one at Cooper - not always wise particularly when you do it with a topic renowned for fuelling Cooper's belligerance

Thats what I cannot get into Phils head - I run a zero budget arts group (not LRP) exactly the same way (ie ring round get 20 say they are coming, 3 turn up) and understand how frustrating it can be to try and get everyone together.

I also understand whats its like to give up your own money and time only to have 3 show up.  Unlike my stuff, LARPing down the dunes doesnt have to have 1st aiders brought in, plus the fire brigade and police informed, letters written to British heritage or Nature trust, equipment paid for etc so I realise the effort that goes into it. Plus £30 or so to get guest speakers in, £1700 to buy equipment  need I go on?

And Cooper retaliates (predictably)

I, also, don't mean to sound like im having a go but every time someone mentions something you seem to have the desire to mention the film group you are part of. Sadly, every time you do i have a desire to tell you that its got nothing to do with Illyria, therefore it doesnt need to have a coparison made to it at every possible moment.

I apologise to other innocent people who have had to read my ramblings...

[Scaryfatmaniffer]

Another problematic horse problem rears its speedy head

Nick sadly fails to appreciate how problematic talking to the press can be - but in a catalogue of errors cannot distinguish the relative sizes of the mistakes.
Titter ye not

Sadly the article is first spotted by Cooperman

I hereby quote Nicholas Briggs from the paper:

Richard the Third rode from London to York in under 3 hours.

I sadly therefore decide that erratic behaviour and thinking patterns are the best we are going to achieve here chaps. Its a lost cause. Lets ignore it and focus our efforts on something we can stop.

He tries defense but digs himself in further

Actually please quote Paul Gooch who chopped together 2 different articles neither of which were written by me.

Also Sue Whitmoore isnt directing, there are loads of errors in it.

Sadly Cooper alerts me to the situation whilst under the influence of too  much Scotch and as is my want - I go off on one (or two actually)

In comparison to this fauz pas of gigantic magnitude it wouldn't really matter if they had stated that Steven Spielberg was directing it whilst riding Goldie Hawn to a victory in the National.

But this aside:

I am filming my own version of Richard III in which he begins his ride from the stage of Wembley Stadium in full armour, looking rather fat and camp to the gothic rock strains of Bat Out of Hell.
He will then undertake the 184 mile journey on his trusty Harley Davidson, at an average speed something in excess of 68mph, whilst avoiding roadworks, speed cameras and the slightly less hazardous armies of Henry Tudor.

The Obvious choice for my starring role will be Meatloaf himself - but failing that William Blythyn in a wig and a slightly gay shirt.

It will be directed by the Duke of Edinburgh ( who does know four slightly strange pheasant poachers from the West Riding of Yorkshire - who have magnificent and wonderfully oiled, muscular bodies.)

sorry about that - Its not the Duke of Edinburgh who is directing the film.

He's the lead cameraman. 

[Scaryfatmaniffer]

Again interesting ideas expressed badly (and a bit randomly disjointed).

For the opening of the new village, how about an annual wrestling event, dark age style, costume would be dead easy, just shirts and trousers (or topless) stick £5.00 in a hat the winner gets the lot.

Obviously it would have to be 12 stone and under in one group and heavys in the other.

No punching, kicking or headbutting, simply both shoulders to the ground means a win. Virtually like we do with the knives.

The heavyweights would be fun to watch...

Also currency wise, how about paying for things at the bar in shillings, they are dead easy to get 2nd hand. We could exhange our cash O/C at the start of the evening, its just I find a modern 50p very O/C

I was thinking when my tinker character  flogged nicknack a cloak for £30 (admittedly we agreed the price O/c) nobody thought thats  a hell of a lot of money in those days?

The darklord sums up a reply to this:

Dude what is the obsession with rolling around on the ground with other men? Are you in such a hurry to get yourself hammered into the dirt?  Anyway sounds a bit dull with no punching and kicking!

Cooper (High Prince of Unsubtlety and overkill) launches a tirade

Again, you and the point seem to be travelling in opposite directions in high speed cars.

Firstly, we dont do actual wrestling, Physical contact is not to be used in a roleplay world above anything other than a poke, prod, handshake or the like. Secondly, when do we ever do that with knives. Thirdly we already have a currency system in place and Chris is going to be forging some more coinery.

Briggs bites back

In reply to Darklord, its good exercise and its great for confidence and makes a nice alternative to weapons. 

In reply to Phil point taken about the currency its just shillings are more easy to figure out.

The darklord makes a dangerous mistake here - he takes some of the ideas way too seriously leaving himself open for more Briggs.

Ok there is a slim chance I may be taking the piss here but you find rolling around with other guys a confidence boost? 

Any way just getting the shoulders down should no way count as a win - you should at least have a 3 count or something and would there be submission wins in this man grappling?

Alex chips in:

I'll quite happily give you a wrestle    just as long as it doesn't involve a steep ivy covered slope which one of us eventually gets kicked down   But seriously, I've never seen a knife fight that didn't eventually degenerate into mild wresting...

Cooper replies:

I know what you mean alec but we arent really meant to, anyways, the likes of me taking on chris give me a good standing to come out after a wrestle, the scrawny figure of said nick will cause issues far beyond the value of the reward.

It took a while but the plot suddenly flies off rather like the golden snithch at a Quidditch match:

I can take a lot more punishment than you would think - I'm used to fighting blokes a lot bigger than me in my various hobbys

My idea would be combine the safe side of LRP with the sheer adrenalin of wrestling

Oh n Darklord rolling round on the ground with a  female isnt that bad?

Perhaps I shouldn't have but ...

Try Jane - perhaps you would like to reevaluate.

Trying to catch and contain the plot better than Harry Potter on acid the darklord steers him back:

We've now gone from the slightly dodgy idea of wrestling at an lrp to an excuse to grope girls in the name of sport! Fantasies away please!

Your idea to combine the "safe" world of lrp combat with the adrenalin of wrestling would give you the unsafe world of wrestling™ Wrestling is inherently not safe - I'm not saying no one should do it - if I was bored I might join in but it is not safe just because people are not punching and headbutting.  Joints can be hyper extended, ligaments and tendons torn easily.  The danger gets worse when you add in people who dont know how to fall and roll, people who don't realise  how far they can push something and people who are badly warmed up/not in great shape anyway. 

For that matter how safe is lrp - you have to accept the risk of injury is real - though admittedly less likely than in say rugby.   

But the golden Briggs is fully charged now and needs to escape at the most unusual angle and velocity:

couldnt agree more on that point Darklord

I find reenacting safer than Rugby - marshalls will stop a fight if its getting out of hand, 1st aiders on site, your wearing thick padded jacks under steel armour...

Darklord tries again (WASTE OF TIME but...)

Yes I can see that in some ways it is safer, but now imagine including uncontrolled grappling into either lrp or reenactment - as part of the general melee not in a display.  Result - safety goes down hill rapidly.  I know that wasnt quite your idea for village wrestling but some bits of your thread did seem to edge that way.

But the box is open and the Quidditch tournament is once again underway as the plot tries again to be followed at high speed tangents.

I just wish I had got involved in the early times (I wanted too) after being told storys of events in the Axenstrasse, old house and Dunes. Trouble was nobody had a clue where to get involved it took me 4 years to find out, by pure accident.

But the darklord sadly has no interest in Quidditch:

Axenstrasse?

ANyway, the maiming sessions that scareyfatmaniffer was involved in were not really the good old days of lrp.  They were a chance for a bunch of nutters with to much energy on thier hands to go and fight.  If what you want to do Raisde is fight then there are ways you can do this without resorting to taking lrp into dangerous territory - anyone who can use an lrp sword can fight unsafely if they choose too (I have prooved it on several occasions - in self defence I might add) but there is no need for it on a larp.  you could simply walk into the nearest bar on a friday and pick a fight or organise your own backyard ufc comp if thats what you want - I am sure you will find opponants.

Tries to legitimise but fails:

Sure, I'm not interested in complete violence or bloodshed but have allways enjoyed a good knockabout in which ,sometimes you get hurt but its just part of it. Which is where most of my hobbies come in.

My real objection is that when I bring new people, having fired them up on stories of what we have done before, then they sit there for an hour listening to a load of peasants talking, they dont come back, I'm a bit more patient. The whole thing needs a balance of action and dialogue which isnt easy. 

Darklord replies:

Well thats the thing isnt it?  What do you define as a good knock about - to some people this would be exactly what lrp is - I'm up for feeling the blows as it makes it easier if you get hit in the back.  Sometimes in lrp you get hurt a bit but its not the objective and shouldnt be in my opinion.  But as chris quoted above there are people out there who will do this shit without your bizarre desire to turn lrp into violence fest - fuckit if you want to have some wrestling match or boxing match fine, I have no qualms about fighting you either though I'm not really that interested in either.

As for you getting your mates "fired up" with tales of fighting and so on, why not tell them something usefull so they actually have a chance of turning up and understanding things rather than turning up, feeling let down and never turning up again   

Cooper may not start fights but he has a wonderful knack of finishing them!

Gotta agree with gary on this one. Its not roleplays fault that your mates dont return because we dont do enough fighting, its your fault they dont return cos you tell them we do and we dont.

Idea before making yourself head of recruitment, use your loaf, or if you cant which is what i would expect, ask someone else to use theirs for you, and rather than listen to someone and then tell your mates a load of bollocks, try and acknowledge the words actually used rather than the ones that you would prefer to be used. There is no point trying to lure people who are a bit interested with false stories, its better to wait for someone to be really interested with true stories.

[Scaryfatmaniffer]

This is just kind of irrelevant:For some reason Nick wants to teach people how to fight with polearms - being a teacher myself I feel that you have to be competent yourself to be able to actually do the task and then move up several notches befor eyou can actually teach it (maybe I am wrong but...)He was mocked and tried to defend himself thus...

Not teaching as such, I will be training the extras for my production in the basic handling drill. You cant fight with my hooks, as they are made of painted chipboard attached to dowel. Its more the handling (eg how to get uphill with a 14 footer in the "Aventre" position without being shot to pieces with artillery) and marching. No way could I teach the serious stuff, my proper tutitions going to be in Belgium.

(I voluntered to go in the tournament last year was politely told I was likely to be flattened, what a champion from each WOTR unit slugging it out hand to hand in the arena that was awesome!)

Note the now customary bracketed irrelevance

My basic idea was a pillbox full of archers, covered by at least one rank of infantry in turn then all you would need would be plenty of mosters to attack, it seemed a good idea. I estimate you can do it with 20 people to be snmall and sensible?

The Darklord (Major deity of patience and reasonableness) replies:

Raisde, when you say a pillbox full of archers do you mean the concrete defence bunkers up on the dunes?  IF so full would pretty much mean one archer and they are not easy to fire from.  Archers could be put on top but still not many - and this has already been done by the way. If you meant a block of archers protected by infantry on the wings I think (and this is only my opinion I am not claiming to be a master tactician) it would fail.  Why? because the enemy is gonna charge as quickly as possible into your force and the bowmen would either be engaged or firing into their own troops.  I think a more traditional role for archers in skirmishes is to be on the flanks themselves, harrasing the enemy and protecting the main body against being flanked.  Massed volly fire tends to work best against big unwieldy blocks rather than skirmishes.

RELEVANCE CHECK

That makes sense.
Master tactician? i'm yet to even win anything on medieval total war apart from a ridiculous victory with archers 5 ranks deep covered by a ravine.

How glad I am to find sombody of inteligence. Sorry if I seem over pushy but I'm rather hacked off to find a hobby I wish I had discovered years ago, only to watch it disapear through the laziness of everyone wanting to play but nobody wanting to organise.

But now even the darklord refuses offerings and homage:

How glad I am to find sombody of inteligence.

Get that tongue out of my ass!

Degenerates into discussions about cost of events and getting to events:

Surely if you are going to come and pay for an event - thinbking £10 ish for an evening and £25 + for a weekend you can stretch to a quid for the bus or getting a lift with someone who is coming and giving them a quid for petrol.

Relevance challenged Briggs replies:

Yeah getting the bus on the way but but buses in the evening are hopeless. I biked out to the Horse centre in an hour so it shouldnt be a problem...

After a while even I lost patience:

Why tally ho boyo -

I once met a girl in Leeds on a uni interview and could ne find a way to get there - other than getting a lift with my boss to Sheffield in the van with my bike in the back.

Arriving at Sheffield at 7a.m. I preceded to cycle the 40 odd miles to Leeds arrivbing mid morning - having a wild afternoon of top sexual activity before beginning the long epic cycle back from Armley.

Still I didn't do it in under an hour (nor in fact could meatloaf auditioning for the part of Richard III on his HArley Davidson) but its the thought that counts.

You weren't shagging the heavy horses were you   

[Elmyra]

I belive this is the best of briggs!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cw43o_KDTqg

[The Darklord]

WTF was that???!!!!! Why would someone post that on u tube?

[Artemisia]

...Whuuh?..

maybe they are from another dimension and we are missing something meaningful

...or not.